Thanksgiving Pity

Thanksgiving was very overwhelming for me this year. I was pretty much dreading everything about it, except for the eating part! It was hard for me to list things that I am thankful for this year. First and foremost I am thankful for my husband, Joshua. We been through a lot over the years and he's never given up on me. I know that he'll always be there for me no matter what is thrown at us. I am thankful we own our own house and a van. I am also thankful for my children... 

But putting those feelings aside, it was overwhelming because there are just so many people to see. So many people to talk to. And everyone is happy and saying "How are you!?" "Oh I see you're expecting too! Congratulations!" When two other women in your close family are also pregnant it makes things so much more difficult. Everyone assumes your baby is perfect and fine because why wouldn't she be? There is no history of any problems with babies in the family!

But there's also the people who do know your situation and give you the pity looks. That's right. I got my first pity look. Oh how I wanted to go crawl under a rock and cry! It makes it so much harder to see those looks! I can handle telling the facts. Joshua and I could talk your ear off about Spina Bifida and how it will affect Emsley. It is so much worse to only give us sad looks and NOT talk to us about it. Or to avoid us entirely. Please ask questions! Don't hide. Yes, it's an awkward conversation. Yes, it is a terrible situation. But alienating yourself doesn't make it go away. Not talking to us because you are uncomfortable or scared doesn't help. In fact, it makes me feel more alone. I will admit sometimes I don't want to talk about it. Sometimes it takes a few questions to get me to open up about it. And yes, you may say something that might offend me. But the point is that you are showing you care. By talking to us and asking questions about Emsley you are saying "I am here for you. You are not going through this alone." And that is what is most important. That's something to be thankful for.